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Exercising Behavioural Self Control

People becoming frustrated, angry and behaving badly at work is a direct result of an inability to keep their disruptive emotions and impulses under control. We all need to develop and maintain the crucial self management competency of social and emotional intelligence; Behavioural Self Control.

Social and Emotional Intelligence is the ability to be aware of what’s going on for us emotionally, in the moment, and then to use what we learn to manage our emotional response to what’s going on in and around us at that time.

It starts with being aware of what’s going on in our mind and in our body, recognising the triggers or hot buttons that send us on that downward spiral.

Asking yourself some simple yet powerful questions will give you the space required to respond to what’s going on rather than overreact. Here are a few examples:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • What is making me feel that way?
  • Why does that make me angry (insert other emotion here)?
  • What would be the healthiest response to this situation?
  • What do I need to believe about this situation to ensure I can influence that response?

The other thing this process does is engage the pre frontal cortex (logical brain) instead of the amygdala (emotional brain). The next time you feel the temperature rising and the thought patterns out of kilter, give it a try.

Have an awesome week…you deserve it!

Cheers Grant

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