Thou Shalt Not Perform for Approval

SUMMARY

Are you a people-pleaser trying to get others to like you by pretending that you're someone that you're not, so that they will accept you?

Your identity is who you believe you are, it's not what you do. So, when you perform and you are looking to get the approval of others, you are slowly chipping away at your true identity, becoming all these different people, so that you can get the acceptance that you're after.

Avoiding the fears of not being good enough, of not belonging, and of not being loved. So, let's look at what you need to do instead.

Instead of performing to get approval, build your own identity. Take that as your responsibility. You decide who you are, work on your self-worth, your personal power, and get to a point of self-approval.

In this vlog, I will help you to understand that "Thou Shalt Not Perform for the Approval of Others."

TRANSCRIPT

Are you a people-pleaser trying to get others to like you by pretending that you're someone that you're not, so that they will accept you?

Well, I'm here to help you with that today, and I will help you to understand that "Thou Shalt Not Perform for the Approval of Others."

This was a major problem for most of my life, and it took its toll on my identity, my energy, and my overall health.

You see, when you perform to get the approval of others, there is no guarantee that you’re going to get it.

I'm sure there were many times you've done things that you thought were your best and still had at least one person that did not think it was good enough.

Now, the problem with operating in this "performance trap" is that you perform (which is what you do) to get approval. When you get approval, it makes you feel good. However, when you don't get the approval, it makes you feel worse.

What that does is it erodes your identity.

Your identity is who you believe you are, it's not what you do. So, when you perform and you are looking to get the approval of others, you are slowly chipping away at your true identity, becoming all these different people, so that you can get the acceptance that you're after.

Avoiding the fears of not being good enough, of not belonging, and of not being loved. So, let's look at what you need to do instead.

Instead of performing to get approval, build your own identity. Take that as your responsibility. You decide who you are, work on your self-worth, your personal power, and get to a point of self-approval.

Self-approval is when you go: "You know what, when I look in the mirror, and I don't just mean physically, I'm okay with what I see. I'm teachable and humble, and I'm still on a journey of imperfection, but I'm okay with who I am."

When you shift your belief and give yourself the self-approval instead of looking to get that approval from other people, you now have a foundation that's going to allow you to be who you need to be in every area of your life and you're going to see the results change.

So, instead of performing to get approval, you are now performing out of a position of self-approval.

Try it. Do that. You'll see the results are totally different to what you were getting before.

Well, that's it for me for another week. Join me again next week when we continue this conversation around my 10 commandments for enjoying your life.

I'll see you then.