Becoming a Successful Coach by Being Imperfect
Do you tend to hold yourself back from jumping in and becoming those things that you want to become because you doubt yourself, because you look at the past and the experiences that you've been through and you judge your future success on your level of success that you've been through before, or do you cut yourself some slack and just get in and have a go and learn along the way?
Stick with me in this episode because I want to help you to understand how you can take those imperfections, those things that you don't quite get right, those experiences that you had and use those to successfully launch and develop and grow your coaching practice.
So, what I want to do this week i give you the three keys that I live by as I coach myself and as I help other people to get into the world of coaching. When you employ these three skills, in fact, they're more than skills. They're character traits. When you use, as I call it, your journey of imperfection, you are going to be more successful as a coach, successful for you and your reason for getting in, and you're going to bring a greater level of success for the people that you work with your clients. Let's jump in and talk about these three attributes.
The first attribute is authenticity.
The second attribute that flows out of being authentic is vulnerability.
And the third attribute, which permeates out of the first two, is relatability.
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Do you tend to hold yourself back from jumping in and becoming those things that you want to become because you doubt yourself, because you look at the past and the experiences that you've been through and you judge your future success on your level of success that you've been through before, or do you cut yourself some slack and just get in and have a go and learn along the way? So, stick with me in this episode because I want to help you to understand how you can take those imperfections, those things that you don't quite get right, those experiences that you had and use those to successfully launch and develop and grow your coaching practice.
Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Master Coach Trainer, and this week, I want to continue our conversation around all things becoming a coach by helping you to become a successful coach by being imperfect. A lot of people that I know would love to get into this wonderful world of coaching. They have a desire in their heart to help other people. They understand that right now, there's a big need for more coaches in the world, yet they hold themselves back. They're not quite ready yet. They haven't got all their ducks in a row. They haven't got everything lined up the way they think it needs to be lined up. And the main reason for this is that they're comparing themselves to what they see in others.
Last week, we talked about this, that you are on your journey right now. You need to design your own journey and you need to stick to that. So to become a coach, one of the most valuable lessons that you can learn is imperfection is the key. It's not about getting an all right. It's not about knowing everything. It's not about being able to do everything. I know when I first got involved in coaching, I was able to help people to make big changes in their life. As I developed as a coach, I got more training. I got more experience and that allowed me then to go more advanced to be able to help people with different challenges. But the greatest success that I've seen in my coaching career is when I realised that perfection is never going to be the goal, that I don't have to have it all together because I never will. And in fact, it's being imperfect that's going to give me the greatest opportunity to have more influence, to create big impact in the world, and to build a practice that sustains a consistent regular income.
So, what I want to do this week is I want to give you the three keys that I live by as I coach myself and as I help other people to get into the world of coaching. When you employ these three skills, in fact, they're more than skills. They're character traits. When you use, as I call it, your journey of imperfection, you are going to be more successful as a coach, successful for you and your reason for getting in, and you're going to bring a greater level of success for the people that you work with your clients. Let's jump in and talk about these three attributes.
The first attribute is authenticity. Authenticity is about being real, being who you are. A lot of people look at the word authenticity and they go, "Oh, that's last year's word", and it's overused, and they try and get clever and think of better words to use. But for me, the authentic, the real deal of who I am is my greatest gift that I can give to any client. When we're inauthentic, people can read that, people can understand that. When you're trying to be better than you actually are, because you are right on this Performance Trap, you are running where you think you need to be perfect before you can help anybody else. People can sense that there's something incongruent, that there's something not quite right. But when you are the real deal, and by the way, I have found in my life that being who I am really is the easiest gig on the planet. It's challenging when I have to play a role, pretend that I'm something that I'm not. So, being authentic, being the real deal, letting people have who I truly am as their coach is going to help them to have more confidence and certainty in who I am. And in that, I'll be able to translate that to them and help them to be the same. One of the greatest areas that I work in is in helping people to escape that Performance Trap, to stop people pleasing and start exercising self-care, to remove self-doubt and work out of self-confidence. And that's all about being authentic. That's all about having an identity that says, "This is who I am, and this is what I believe in, and this is where I can help you." So, the first key is authenticity.
The second key that flows out of being authentic is vulnerability. For many years, there was a teaching that said leaders who were vulnerable were weak. Well, I disagree with that totally. When I allow myself to be open and be vulnerable, alongside being authentic and real, then people listen, people tune in to what it is that I have to offer. And to be successful as a coach, which has two elements, there's the success for yourself and the growth of your practice, and that stems from the higher level, which is the success of your clients, being able to go through those transitions from A to B that you're going to take them through on their journey, those transitions will be so much easier for you to help them facilitate, if you're being vulnerable. If you go, "You know what? Hey, I don't have it all together. And here are some stories from my journey. Here are some things that I've navigated. Here's some things that I've come through. The other side of that have allowed me to escape the Performance Trap", or whatever it is. Vulnerability is a personal attribute, not just for coaching. It's one that I believe we get all exercise a little bit differently. It says, "I need help when I need help." Now, obviously, as a coach, we're not getting in talking to our clients and going, "Hey, I need some help." No, you're the coach. However, what it does is it removes the need for us to put on a front that says, "I've got it all together and I have all the answers", because, let me tell you right now, you don't, I don't, and we never will. So, the second key to being successful as a coach is vulnerability.
And the third area, which permeates out of the first two, is relatability. A lot of times, people look at coaches or mentors and they put them out there as being unattainable, untouchable. And the challenge is, if you are in that position, a lot of people will go and find another coach because they go, "Oh, look, other people would be okay to work with Grant, but it may not be for me", or, "I'm not good enough to have Grant as my coach." Yet when I am authentic, when I'm vulnerable, when I talk about things in their language palette, not in fancy marketing terms, when I help them to realise that I understand how they feel, I use my emotional intelligence that I've been through similar experiences, and that I have life stories that they can relate to, it ticks the boxes of, "Hey, this person is like me and this person gets me, so therefore they will be able to help me to navigate this challenge that I'm going through in my life right now." Being relatable is a key element of success as you become a coach.
So, there you have the three key areas that I believe will help you to be successful as a coach. Once again, none of those are technical. None of those are about marketing skills or coaching skills or anything like that. They are attributes of the coach. And as we talked about last week, it's all about building that foundation first. It's about taking who you are into your coaching practice. It's about using the gifts and talents that you've been blessed with, and therefore the people who are meant to work with you will be drawn to you, and you will have a mutually beneficial relationship where they received the results that they need, and you in turn grow your practice. Authenticity, vulnerability, and relatability; three key elements that we can all work on so that we are a more successful coach.
Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week, where I continue this journey on helping you to become a coach by showing you how to get your first client. I'll see you then.