Celebrate How Far You've Come
Forward Focused Reflection is looking through the lens of where you're going and not getting stuck in where you've been. It's about driving down the road on the journey that you're in and making sure that your focus is looking through the windscreen to see where you're going, and now and then, just having a look in the rear vision mirror to see where you've come.
This week, what I want you to do first is to recognise that no matter where you are right now, if you look back with a healthy mindset on everything that's transpired over this year, I guarantee that there are things that you can celebrate.
Celebrate how you've grown and who you're becoming; they're the number one things you have to work on.
Are you someone that looks back on your year, and the things that have passed, and beat yourself up because you are focused on everything that went wrong and what you didn't get done? Are you disappointed with what you've achieved this year?
Well, stick with me because I want to help you shift some thinking around that so that you can finish strong in 2022 and go into 2023 ready to seize every opportunity and get the results you want.
Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Master Trainer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to start a conversation where you can finish your year by celebrating how far you've come.
This has been a very eventful year, and over the last few weeks, I've had a lot of things going on. We've been having a conversation around leadership, and we talked about how leadership starts with us, and we call that: Personal Leadership. We also looked at Professional Leadership and then People Leadership.
So, rather than start a new topic as we go into the end of the year, what I want you to do is pause and reflect. I want to help you to capitalise on what you've already done.
This was a challenge I had for many years. Around this time of the year, I would reflect on everything that didn't go well in my year, and I would beat myself up about it. The challenge with that (and if you're doing this as well) is that it does not prepare you psychologically, physically, mentally, and emotionally to move forward into the new year and change those results.
If you've been following me for a while, you'll know there's a process that I use, and it starts with some forward-focused reflection.
Forward Focused Reflection is looking through the lens of where you're going and not getting stuck in where you've been. It's about driving down the road on the journey that you're in and making sure that your focus is looking through the windscreen to see where you're going, and now and then, just having a look in the rear vision mirror to see where you've come. However, what I want you to do first is to recognise that no matter where you are right now, if you look back with a healthy mindset on everything that's transpired over this year, I guarantee that there are things that you can celebrate. Celebrate how you've grown and who you're becoming; they're the number one things I want to work on.
Celebrate your progress.
The opposite of celebrating progress is looking for perfection. This is where you look and nitpick everything you've done over the year. Therefore, making yourself feel bad about what you didn't achieve.
When you celebrate progress and when focus on what you actually achieve and even on the things you did not get finished, you will be able to learn something that will help you move forward better.
So, let's get a mindset, as we go into the end of this year, of looking at the progress.
As we go through this process of reflecting on what’s passed, you're going to find some things that worked really well and others that didn’t work well. Look at what went well and ask yourself, "What did I do that helped me get the desired result?"
Then, have a look at the things that didn't go well and ask:
“What did I do or not do?”
"What were my thinking and mindset doing this?"
“What were the roadblocks that existed there that didn’t get me as far down the track as I wanted to?”
Both those scenarios give us data.
I use the word “data” because we want to process that with the logical brain rather than going down into the emotion. So, it’s shifting from looking at it from a “Woe is me, why didn’t this work?” perspective, to just collecting the data.
You need to collect this data not so you can read and dwell on them but for you to take them forward and use it in the things you're doing next year.
Over the next couple of weeks, I want to prepare you -- particularly your mindset -- to go into a new year and capitalise on every opportunity that's there waiting for you.
However, if you don't clean up your mindset, and you beat yourself up when you enter the new year with a pessimistic view of your ability and what it is that you can achieve, then you’re going to miss those opportunities. You’re not going to see things for the true sense of what they are, and you're just going to deflect from them. Your subconscious, that “mini-me”, will pull you back and remind you of everything that went wrong in 2022.
If I did not do what I'm teaching you, I could look at 2022 in a light that would not be healthy and serve me. Honestly, it would probably stop me from doing anything next year. I would instead end up curling on the floor in the fetal position with my thumb in my mouth and have a pity party. And that's what I used to do. However, when I found this new process and started to look at things in a different light, instead of what went on in the year past being an anchor, it became an engine that propelled me into new things.
I returned from a week in Singapore a couple of weeks ago so I've started overseas travel again and many opportunities have come out of that already and are continuing to come. So, I've got many ideas of how I can tweak and adjust what I'm going to do in the new year. All this because I allowed myself to get in the right frame of mind.
So, that’s the gift I want you to give yourself as we go through this process this month.
As you finish listening to me, what I want you to do right now is to reflect on the things you have done in 2022 through this new lens of "Forward Focus Reflection", where you're looking for things you can be proud of, that you can learn from and carry forward. Look at things in the light of how far you've come and not how far you've still got to go.
By doing that, you'll be prepared to join me again next week as we add the next layer to this.
So, where have you come in 2022?
Who have you become?
What progress have you made to become the person you know you can be so that you can have those things that you want to have, not just in 2023 but way beyond that?
There’s a funny thing about this “line in the sand” on the 31st of December. It really shouldn't make the difference, but because it does, let's capitalise on that. Let's finish strong in 2022. Let's work together, roll up our sleeves, and get some stuff done. So, while everybody else is sitting back and not enjoying their break because they're feeling less than and down on themselves, you and I are going to propel ourselves into an amazing 2023 filled with love, joy, peace, happiness, prosperity, and whatever it is that you are looking for. I'm excited about the opportunity you've given me to take you there.
Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we continue this conversation, armed with the data you will bring with us, and we refocus on what matters most. I'll see you then.