Developing Your Emotional Resilience

SUMMARY

Do you find that you are continually feeling emotionally drained at work, and things tend to bring you down a little bit too much? Are you one of those people who hide from your emotions because you've been taught to leave them at the door?

This week, I want to have an important conversation with you as we explore the four types of resilience, by giving you some key strategies to work with. 

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, leadership and sustainable performance coach, and today I'm going to talk about emotional resilience and why it's essential for navigating challenges and stress effectively. In our fast-paced world, especially at work, emotional resilience is a skill everyone needs to develop.

A couple of weeks ago, when we started this conversation around resilience where I set a benchmark understanding of what resilience is and isn't—it's not about toughening up. We talked about those things, and if you haven't heard that one yet, go back and listen to it. But today, I want to begin by defining emotional resilience. It refers to your ability to adapt, recover, and even grow stronger when faced with challenges, stress, and adversity. It's not about ignoring disruptive emotions but learning to navigate them in healthier and more productive ways. So today, I want to give you 8 key strategy areas to work on so that you can develop more emotional resilience.

All these strategies come from emotional intelligence, which is your ability to recognise what's going on for you emotionally, to engage in helpful self-talk and inner dialogue, and to work through each emotion to benefit you, others, and the greater good. A lack of these skills can lead to a lack of emotional resilience.

The first thing you need to do is cultivate self-awareness.

The second strategy is to develop emotional navigation skills.

The third strategy is to build a strong support network.

Next, you need to set boundaries and prioritise self-care.

The fifth strategy is to practice problem-solving and be more flexible.

Number six is to develop a growth mindset.

Number seven is to maintain optimism and be positive.

Finally, number eight is to continue professional development.

There you have it—8 key strategies to develop emotional resilience.

Emotions exist for a purpose; they’re meant to serve you. Learning how to navigate them in a healthy way will enable you to sustain performance and get everything done that you need to while having enough energy left to be who you want to be when you get home.

Many people I work with every day are emotionally drained because they lack these skills and allow their internal dialogue and conditioning to keep them in negative environments. By developing emotional resilience and these skills, you'll position yourself to sustain your energy for longer periods and achieve the results that you want.

That’s it from me for another week. Join me next week as we continue our conversation around the four types of resilience by exploring your own mental resilience. I'll see you then.

TRANSCRIPT

Do you find that you are continually feeling emotionally drained at work, and things tend to bring you down a little bit too much? Are you one of those people who hide from your emotions because you've been taught to leave them at the door?

This week, I want to have an important conversation with you as we explore the four types of resilience, by giving you some key strategies to work with.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, leadership and sustainable performance coach, and today I'm going to talk about emotional resilience and why it's essential for navigating challenges and stress effectively. In our fast-paced world, especially at work, emotional resilience is a skill everyone needs to develop.

A couple of weeks ago, when we started this conversation around resilience where I set a benchmark understanding of what resilience is and isn't—it's not about toughening up. We talked about those things, and if you haven't heard that one yet, go back and listen to it. But today, I want to begin by defining emotional resilience. It refers to your ability to adapt, recover, and even grow stronger when faced with challenges, stress, and adversity. It's not about ignoring disruptive emotions but learning to navigate them in healthier and more productive ways. So today, I want to give you 8 key strategy areas to work on so that you can develop more emotional resilience.

All these strategies come from emotional intelligence, which is your ability to recognise what's going on for you emotionally, to engage in helpful self-talk and inner dialogue, and to work through each emotion to benefit you, others, and the greater good. A lack of these skills can lead to a lack of emotional resilience.

The first thing you need to do is cultivate self-awareness.

As I mentioned earlier, many people ignore their emotions or are told they're not allowed to be emotional. However, that is impossible—we are emotional beings. Many people have not had the opportunity to develop these skills because they don't see them as important. As a result, emotions creep up on them, leading to outcomes that aren't desired. 

Self-awareness allows you to understand what's happening internally. It provides a starting point to practice the other skills I’ll talk about. To do this, you need to understand what an emotion is—a physiological cue in your body indicating that something is happening in your world. How you interpret that and the dialogue you attach to it, filtered through your identity and those areas we've worked on, will determine what you do with it. So, the first step is to notice in the moment what's happening. Developing mindfulness can help you do this by allowing you to quiet the noise and ask yourself, “What's going on for me right now?”

The second strategy is to develop emotional navigation skills.

You need to be able to notice the emotion, name the emotion to identify which emotion it is, and then navigate it to reach the outcome you want. Everyone navigates their emotions, but not always in a way that leads to the results that you want. The goal here is to navigate emotions to yield healthy results.

The third strategy is to build a strong support network.

You need people in your life because no one succeeds alone. In the context of emotional regulation, it's crucial to have someone you can speak to about things you’re not feeling good about. It's okay to be negative sometimes, to have a “pity party,” and let someone listen to your perspective. Additionally, having support is important when going through times of stress and adversity. Building a strong support network means realising it’s okay to ask for help and not be okay, allowing you to foster vulnerability and build the right relationships.

Next, you need to set boundaries and prioritise self-care.

Your boundaries need to align with your desired outcomes, priorities, and values, guiding how others interact with you. It's also important to set boundaries for your behaviour, particularly around self-care. Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for you to be physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially healthy without burning out.

The fifth strategy is to practice problem-solving and be more flexible.

Rather than viewing situations as overwhelming, see them as opportunities to work through problems and build resilience in a healthy way. Being adaptable and flexible in response to today's fast-paced changes will also enhance your emotional resilience.

Number six is to develop a growth mindset.

Cultivate a mindset that seeks change and growth, allowing you to see every problem or emotionally charged situation as an opportunity to learn. Life will never be a utopia without challenges or problems; instead, it constantly provides learning opportunities. Viewing setbacks as part of your growth journey is crucial. Now, it's not about ignoring the fact that things go wrong; it's not a positive mindset alone that says, "I don't see stoplights when I go downtown. I just see GO lights," as my great friend Zig Ziglar says. It's about recognising that you have everything within and around you to be who you need to be. Growth is vitally important for you and what you are doing in the world.

Number seven is to maintain optimism and be positive.

We're not talking about ignoring reality. In the work I do with the 26 competencies of emotional and social intelligence, this competency is called “realistic optimism.” It’s about recognising that things can go wrong and that they are as they are, but focusing on the positive outcomes rather than falling into negativity.

Many people use gratitude journals to start their day by reflecting on what they're grateful for. For me, I'm grateful for my health, my wife, my kids, my family. I'm grateful for the fact that I live in a country where I'm able to have what it is that I have. Practising gratitude can help steer your emotions positively, lifting you and increasing your serotonin levels.

If you tend to gravitate toward the negative, this strategy can really help. When you’re caught in a negative mindset, it affects your emotions and well-being, while focusing on the positive lifts you up and gets that serotonin flowing.

Finally, number eight is to continue professional development, just as you’re doing now.

Understand that you're on a journey and there are skills to be learned and areas to grow. You might need to work with someone to develop your emotional intelligence skills or bring in a coach like me to work with you and your team. Prioritising your own professional development by recognising you don’t know it all and need to grow in these areas is essential.

There you have it—8 key strategies to develop emotional resilience.

Emotions exist for a purpose; they’re meant to serve you. Learning how to navigate them in a healthy way will enable you to sustain performance and get everything done that you need to while having enough energy left to be who you want to be when you get home.

Many people I work with every day are emotionally drained because they lack these skills and allow their internal dialogue and conditioning to keep them in negative environments. By developing emotional resilience and these skills, you'll position yourself to sustain your energy for longer periods and achieve the results that you want. 

That’s it from me for another week. Join me next week as we continue our conversation around the four types of resilience by exploring your own mental resilience. I'll see you then.