Positioning is a Psychological Game
SUMMARY
Are you a great technical professional who finds it difficult to do other things like selling, whether it's selling your services, selling yourself to others, or selling anything at all? Well, stick with me because this week I'm going to help you demystify all of that and empower yourself to be able to do those things as well.
The biggest challenge people face is often in their mindset—what they believe about certain things. You see, it’s not about what happens; it’s about what you make it mean.
When it comes to selling, it's about putting yourself out there and doing things differently, perhaps in ways that may feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. This discomfort often stems from the perceptions you have about what selling involves. You might think of selling as something negative, possibly because you've had bad experiences with it.
The key is to understand that your internal psychology—your identity—will determine your ability to put yourself out there. This is shaped by the beliefs and experiences you’ve had, and what you made them mean.
Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we continue this conversation, and I'll help you put yourself in the spotlight. See you then!
TRANSCRIPT
Are you a great technical professional who finds it difficult to do other things like selling, whether it's selling your services, selling yourself to others, or selling anything at all? Well, stick with me because this week I'm going to help you demystify all of that and empower yourself to be able to do those things as well.
Hi, this is Grant Herbert, leadership and sustainable performance coach, and today I'm continuing our conversation about positioning—moving from being invisible to becoming in demand—by helping you understand that positioning is a psychological game.
Many professionals I work with are technically great in their areas of expertise. The knowledge they have and the services they provide come easily and effortlessly because that's what they're used to. However, as you grow in your career, whether you're working internally within an organisation or seeking to attract clients externally, it's essential to shift your skill set. You need to add certain skills that may not come naturally and aren't typically taught in the standard training you received to become professionally ready as a technician.
One of those skills is selling, and I know that, as we discussed last week, people sometimes avoid calling it 'selling' when they're in certain roles because they don't want to see themselves as salespeople. Instead, they might refer to it as ‘business development’. However, the label doesn't really matter. What I want to help you with today is removing the roadblocks that are holding you back—the internal dialogue and the things you are telling yourself that are stopping you from getting out there and applying the same drive and energy you use to excel as a technician to these other aspects of your role, without letting them doing your head in or eating your lunch.
The biggest challenge people face is often in their mindset—what they believe about certain things. You see, it’s not about what happens; it’s about what you make it mean.
When it comes to selling, it's about putting yourself out there and doing things differently, perhaps in ways that may feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. This discomfort often stems from the perceptions you have about what selling involves. You might think of selling as something negative, possibly because you've had bad experiences with it. For example, those unsolicited calls you receive in the evening, from well-meaning call centres somewhere in the world, trying to sell you something even when they say they’re not. That might be your impression of what sales is all about. As a result, you might think, “I don’t want to be like that,” and you certainly don’t want others to see you in that light.
If we're talking about your career within an organisation, you might hold the opinion that people who put themselves out there are pushy or something similar. This underlying dialogue—the beliefs you carry—will determine whether or not you engage in self-promotion and, if you do, whether it feels comfortable or not. I never see things as simply hard or easy. Instead, I believe that things become easy because we've done them repeatedly. How do we make things easy—or what I prefer to call familiar—that we don't normally do? We do them over and over again until they become second nature.
So, if you’re new to promoting yourself and what you do, it might feel unsettling at first, like those butterflies are not quite in formation. However, there are many aspects of your role today that likely made you feel the same way when you first started. But over time, you persevered, kept at it, and now those tasks are easy, effortless, and happen without conscious thought.
The key is to understand that your internal psychology—your identity—will determine your ability to put yourself out there. This is shaped by the beliefs and experiences you’ve had, and what you made them mean.
So, once you overcome that mindset, realise that the things you’re telling yourself are not actually true, and recognise that those beliefs aren’t serving you—it’s time to reject them. After rejecting them, you need to replace them with new, empowering beliefs that will help you do what you need to do.
You may have had certain experiences with sales that have shaped your thinking, and as I often say to people who have had a bad experience that changes their entire outlook: Have you ever had a bad haircut? The usual response is, “Well, yes.” Then I ask, “Have you stopped having haircuts?” Of course not. It’s exactly the same with selling. Just because you’ve had certain negative experiences doesn’t mean you need to push the whole concept aside, throwing out the baby with the bathwater and deciding you don’t want to engage with it anymore.
It’s about tweaking and adjusting your approach so that you do things differently each time. Over time, these small changes add up, and things begin to shift. It's crucial to filter everything you do through your own values and beliefs, as we’ve talked about in relation to identity.
Now, let’s shift gears and focus on the people you’re positioning yourself in front of—the ones you want to stand out to. It’s about making sure you don’t blend in with everyone else and that you’re able to promote yourself and what you do effectively to get the response you want.
I call this the psychology of selling.
The first thing you need to do is start thinking the way they do. Instead of just thinking from your own perspective, you need to speak the way that they do and put yourself in their shoes. It’s like public speaking—many people fear it because they’re focused on themselves rather than on the audience. When you shift your focus and aim to serve people with your message, everything changes.
Positioning works the same way. It’s not really about you; it’s about them. You need to understand their needs, what they’re thinking about, and the challenges they’re facing. When you can speak to those points effectively, they’ll start to see YOU as the solution to their problems.
In my experience from various sales and marketing roles during my corporate career, I've found that this approach is the way to go. It’s about talking about them, not about you. By focusing on them, you can determine whether or not there’s a good fit—whether the expertise you offer is actually what they need right now. This approach immediately shifts you away from the image of the pushy salesperson or promoter that might come to mind. Instead, you’re there to serve.
A few years ago, someone taught me that selling is serving. If you have a service that can solve someone’s problem and you hold back because you’re fearful of what they might think about you offering it, you’re actually doing them a disservice. Shifting your mindset to focus on them rather than on yourself is the key to giving people what they want, which ultimately allows you to get what you need as well.
To do this, you need to think about the 4 forces that influence people. Whether it’s someone internally in your organisation looking to shift into a new position or someone externally considering your services, these four forces are at play in every single one of them. The only difference is how these forces manifest from person to person.
Every one of us is looking at things we want to move away from and things we want to move towards. These are the things we're tired of dealing with and the goals or desires we hope to achieve. When you're thinking about how to position yourself, it’s important to view it through this lens. Next week, we’ll dive deeper into how you can incorporate this understanding into your messaging and other strategies.
Firstly, when it comes to what people want to move away from, they often have frustrations—issues happening in their world right now that you may or may not be able to solve. Understanding these frustrations is crucial because it helps you determine whether you’re a good fit for them. When you can speak to these frustrations in their language, they’ll think, “Yes, this person could help me.”
In the longer term, people also have fears—concerns about what might happen if they don’t address these frustrations. If you can help them see a way out, and assure them that their fears won't materialise, you'll position yourself well in their minds.
On the other hand, people also have things they want to move towards. Right now, they have desires and goals that are often the opposite of their frustrations. For example, someone in business who has a problem with attracting and retaining talent may be constantly dealing with high turnover, and they want to have a team that's sticky, consolidated and raves about working there.
Just as frustrations turn into fears over the long term, those immediate wants evolve into aspirations. And aspirations are the longer-term goals—if they continue to get what they want now, they believe it will lead to a successful outcome. This is often how people define “success” in their area of work.
Understanding these four forces and being able to see what others are going through and what they’re looking for is what positioning is all about. It helps you decide what to talk about. Whether you’re doing what I’m doing here—putting out a message—or whether you’re writing a blog or speaking at a Chamber of Commerce event, you’re addressing their problems and the thing that they want. You’re helping them understand what’s really going on on a deeper level. This gives them the opportunity to see you as the person who can help them move beyond those challenges and achieve what they truly want.
To do this effectively, it’s all about positioning yourself with a personal brand. This means putting yourself out there beyond the firm or organisation you work for and allowing people to see the real, authentic you. You want them to have a conversation in their own minds about you and come to the conclusion that you can help them.
People need to know you, like you, and trust you before they’ll buy into anything you have to say. This is crucial, whether it’s for internal career progression or when dealing with clients externally. Incrementally building that trust is vital.
Doing this is all about having genuine conversations. Imagine you’re sitting down, having a one-on-one conversation with someone—how would you talk to them? Often, when people try to position themselves, they make it overly polished, using marketing jargon, alliteration, and techniques that sound impressive but can come across as insincere. This approach can actually damage what you’re trying to achieve. Instead, just be relatable—have a straightforward conversation.
Positioning is a psychological game, and it starts with managing your own psychology and understanding the psychology of others. Next week, we’ll dive into how you can bring all of this together in your own profile and how to effectively communicate it to others.
Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we continue this conversation, and I'll help you put yourself in the spotlight. See you then!
