Reconcile Your Current Reality

SUMMARY

Absolutely knowing where you are now and where you want to go is the only way that you can fully prepare for the road ahead.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Master Coach Trainer, and today, I want to continue our conversation around our R4 Plan so that we can get more out of the second half of the year than we did out of the first by looking at the second element, and that is to how to reconcile your current reality.

Last week, you got really clear on where it is that you want to be at the end of the year. And using your big voice, you went through a process that empowered you to see it as if it had already happened. This week, let's use a reverse-engineering process to have a look at the difference between where it is that you want to go and where you are right now, your reality.

To do this, we will need to use that 'big you' voice again, suspend all judgment, and do a logical audit process.

There are three key things that you need to consider when you go through this part of the R4 planning process. Grab a pen and let's take a look at them together.

Number one is we need to look for facts rather than focusing on our feelings.

The second element in this process is future focused reflection.

And the third element of the process is for us to flip every result.

Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week, when we look at the next part of this process and I help you to identify what is actually stopping you from getting there. I'll see you then.

TRANSCRIPT

Absolutely knowing where you are now and where you want to go is the only way that you can fully prepare for the road ahead.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Master Coach Trainer, and today, I want to continue our conversation around our R4 Plan so that we can get more out of the second half of the year than we did out of the first by looking at the second element, and that is to how to reconcile your current reality.

Last week, you got really clear on where it is that you want to be at the end of the year. And using your big voice, you went through a process that empowered you to see it as if it had already happened. This week, let's use a reverse-engineering process to have a look at the difference between where it is that you want to go and where you are right now, your reality. Knowing that true start point is the only way that you can fully prepare to become who you need to be and do what you need to do so that you actually end up at the destination that you want to end up at. To do this, we will need to use that 'big you' voice again, suspend all judgment, and do a logical audit process.

There are three key things that you need to consider when you go through this part of the R4 planning process. Grab a pen and let's take a look at them together.

Number one is we need to look for facts rather than focusing on our feelings. As I said, what we're going to do is a logical process. We know where we want to go, and now we're going to have a look at where we are now. However, what we need to do is prepare ourselves mentally so that we are going to actually get some great data out of this process and not actually create another roadblock, another doubt, another thing that's going to stop us from wanting to move forward. As we go through having a look at where we are now, that can invoke some emotion. There could be fears. It could trigger beliefs that you have about yourself. And it could, unless we stay in the logic, actually sabotage this part of the process where you would spiral down into the emotion and think, "Ugh, I'm not going to be able to do this. Look at where I am right now. Look at what I've done up until this point. Why should anything else be different?"

To do this, we're going to need to use that process of keeping that inner voice in check. The best way for us to do that is to make sure that we use logical brain processes, that we ask 'what' questions, that we disassociate from the situation and realise that all we're doing here is checking in and getting some data. So, the first part of this process and a key element of its success is to focus on what we know, focus on the facts rather than get trapped in the feelings. To do this, we need to employ our emotional intelligence skills. We need to be able to recognise the feelings as they come up, recognise what emotion it is, and then use our behavioural self-control strategies to bring it back on track. So, let's have a look at the second element.

The second element in this process is future focused reflection. The past is a great teacher. However, if we get stuck there, it teaches us things that we would really be better off to unlearn. The past is for two purposes only. So, we go back there, and firstly, we need to quickly go there, grab what we need, and then back to where we going. So when we go into the past, we want to be able to find things that we have done well before. We want to be able to recognise ourselves in this context for the things that we've already got done. And we also want to recognise those things that we could perhaps do differently moving forward so that we can get to where it is that we want to go. I've talked about this before, it's like driving a car. We've got a windscreen or a windshield, depending on where you come from, in front of you, and it's a big piece of glass that is designed to give you as much view forward as possible so that you can miss the obstacles, you can see oncoming traffic, et cetera. And then we have that little piece of glass up on the windscreen that's looking the other way and that's the rear view mirror, and that's designed purely as a check in every now and then to look up and go, "That's where I've been.", and put my focus now straight back on where it is that I'm going. So, we're focusing on where we want to go. And by doing that, as we go through this logical process, all we're doing is recognising in those same key areas that we set our results where we are now. We're not analysing it. We're not doing anything more than just writing it down.

And the third part of the process is for us to flip every result. So last week, we worked out where we wanted to be. And depending on whether you were doing this for your practice or your business or in your life generally or any area that suited what your purpose was for, we picked particular things. So, I talked about the fact that I looked at my business and looked at my team. I looked at my time, I looked at my offerings, my services, my programs, and I looked at my revenue. So, what I want to now do in this process is simply ask myself the reverse question. So, this is where I want to go. Let's flip that to, "Where am I now?" So in each of those areas, so time, if I'm looking at how much time I want to actually be investing into my business, all I need to do is ask myself, "How much time am I investing in the business right now?" If I want to look at my team and go, "What do I want my team to look like at the end of the year?", I can say, "What does my team look like now?" You get the point. So, all we're doing, and you notice they're obvious, is using 'what' and 'how' language, which is logical brain process language. We're just working out the difference between where we want to go and where we are right now. 

Now that you've gone through this process, you will have a list in front of you of data that shows you the clear distance, the gap between where you want to go and where you are right now. That was the whole purpose of this process. This clarity now gives you the certainty and the confidence that you need to become who you need to become and do what you need to do to get the results that you want by the end year. So, make sure that you invest some time right now, you get your big voice on you, get a pen, you get a piece of paper and you go through this logical process to work out your current reality.

Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week, when we look at the next part of this process and I help you to identify what is actually stopping you from getting there. I'll see you then.