Refocus on What Matters Most

SUMMARY

Sometimes, because of the happenings in your life, what’s important to you, like your dreams, goals, and values, have been obscured.

It’s like looking at them through a smoke haze — you can't see them because everything else is distracting you from them.

In this vlog, I'm going to help you take a look and refocus on what's important — what matters the most to you.

YOU need to be your NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. Doing so will enable you to be mentally, emotionally, and physically ready to help others. 

So, refocus on what's important to you. Get that sense of fulfilment and purpose back. Build yourself up, and finish strong in 2022 so that as you move forward and you celebrate whatever it is that you celebrate.

TRANSCRIPT

Do you sometimes get all tied up in everything else except what is most important to you? Do your days just get eaten up by other people's priorities? Well, stick with me because we'll continue our conversation around finishing strong in 2022 and getting ready for an amazing 2023.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Master Coach Trainer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to give you our last session for the year by helping you refocus on what matters most.

Last week we started a conversation around getting ourselves ready to move into a bigger and brighter 2023. We looked at what we had done in the year. We celebrated the progress that we'd made rather than looking at it from an “I didn't get this done, and I'm a failure” perspective, which some of us might have been doing before.

We collected some data and are now ready to put that data through some processes to finish strong and prepare for next year.

What I’d like you to do (and I do this every week) is to look at what you are doing. Look at the things you are changing and in what areas you are growing. I also want you to look at where you are expending your energy, and then, filter that to ensure that you put in the effort and energy in the areas that matter most. This is really important to do at the end of the year so you will be prepared to face the new year.

I started this week's episode by asking you if you are the type of person the world seems to throw its priorities at and then they distract you from doing your true purpose. During the previous episodes, I talked to you about our internal dialogues (our mini-me). I also talked to you about the Performance Trap, which is about getting approval from others, and all those things gearing us towards looking at what others want. And in those episodes, you have learned that this should not be the case and that you must look after yourself first to become who you need to be to support all those other people.

So, YOU need to be your NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. Doing so will enable you to be mentally, emotionally, and physically ready to help others.

What we're going to do today is take a look and refocus on what's important — what matters the most to you.

However, to do this, you first need to know what's most important to you.

Sometimes, because of the happenings in your life, what’s important to you, like your dreams, goals, and values, have been obscured.

It’s like looking at them through a smoke haze — you can't see them because everything else is distracting you from them.

So, step one is to make sure that you are clear on those things.

If you're not, sit down and reflect. Ask yourself the following questions:

“What’s most important to me?”

“Who is most important to me?”

"If everything went the way I wanted it to go and I was able to invest my time and energy with the people that I love the most, and not the people that I'm trying to impress or get external expectations from (which is leading me down the path of unhealthy behaviour), who would they be?"

So, reflect on these questions and write your answers down.

After writing those things down, it’s now a matter of refocusing.

When you try moving around, your focus often changes. And when you go out of focus, you will often see a different picture.

This means that when you go out of focus on important things, they become blurry and other things (unimportant things) become more noticeable.

So, what you’re doing here is shifting the lens that you are looking through so that everything you can do is based on those priorities. By reminding yourself of what those priorities are when we go through and look at what you could do in 2023, you can use the filter I gave you last week, which was asking yourself:

“For what purpose?” and “At what cost?”

If the purpose is going to support and help one of those things most important to you, then it gets to move forward into the next part of the equation.

When there are things that you are asked to do, you can ask yourself the question.

“At what cost?”

So, if that is at a cost to the things that are most important, then it stops you from immediately saying “Yes” and makes you reflect and go, “Okay, I need to look at this and get more information about this.” or “I need to set some boundaries around this.” Reflecting on this will help you focus on the things that matter the most.

This sounds like a simple process. And in theory, it is. However, I understand (all too well) that we are all humans. We are on a journey of imperfection, and we will never perfect these things because they are still a work in progress every day.

As we go through this process, there will be times when that inner voice will just pop up and give us that unhealthy dialogue. You may also have “what ifs” and thoughts about what the other person might think about you. It may also use the filter: “For what purpose?” And “At what cost?” against you. For example, “If you do that, what will your boss think.”

Therefore, you really need to be mindful when these thoughts come up.

Be mindful that there are false prophets out there that will speak these things into your life. Therefore, you also need to be very discerning about what you let go in.

So, refocus on what's important to you. Get that sense of fulfillment and purpose back. Build yourself up, and finish strong in 2022 so that as you move forward and you celebrate whatever it is that you celebrate —whether you wear silly hats like me or you do other things — you are ready to go into the next year fired up and excited because you’ve celebrated your progress, you have reflected, you have learned, you have realigned, and you have refocused.

If you do these, how could you not have an amazing 2023?

Well, that's it from me for another year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this journey. Whether you've been with me all year or just started last week, you are extremely valuable and important to me, and I love the opportunity you give me to speak into your life.

2023 can be your best year!

It's a decision; it's a shift in mindset and behaviours. I want to continue, as we enter a new year, to be a part of your team and give you the support and accountability that you need to become who you need to be.

Have an amazing Christmas and New Year, and I look forward to seeing you in 2023.

I'll see you then.