Set No Limits

SUMMARY

As we go through life, a lot of times, we think about what's holding us back and we look externally and blame other things or use things as a reason or an excuse for not being able to get where we want to go.

Who you believe you are not is where these limiting and false beliefs come in. I call them “false beliefs” because they're based on evidence that is hearsay, that isn't based on facts, and is born and developed in negative situations.

This week, we are going to start a process of shifting that. I am going to help you unlearn those false and negative beliefs that are limiting you.

Who you believe you are is the foundation for everything that you do.

TRANSCRIPT

Are there things that you believe about yourself, others, and the world that your internal dialogue continues to throw up at you and therefore, you decide whether to move forward with particular things or not?

Well, stick with me because this week, I want to help you to rewire all that unhealthy conditioning.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, VUCA Leadership and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation around building up our identity, by helping you to set no limits.

As we go through life, a lot of times, we think about what's holding us back and we look externally and blame other things or use things as a reason or an excuse for not being able to get where we want to go.

My experience in my own life, and with working with many people around the world, is that it's exactly the opposite of that. It's what goes on internally that is really holding you back, and the key to unlocking and releasing yourself from that place is to recognise the beliefs that you've formed about yourself, others, and about what is going on in the world over the years you've been around.

It's called conditioning.

Conditioning is the process in the brain where neurons fire together, wire together, and form a pattern. It started with the beliefs that you have — the meaning that you put on something that's been said to you or about you - and the beliefs you have nursed and rehearsed over a period of time. This becomes a strong neural pathway that triggers and dictates your thoughts and behaviour in certain situations. This is what sets the limits and holds you back.

Last week, we talked about the fact that your identity is not what you do. Your identity is who you believe you are and who you believe you are not.

Who you believe you are not is where these limiting and false beliefs come in. I call them “false beliefs” because they're based on evidence that is hearsay, that isn't based on facts, and is born and developed in negative situations.

For many years, I believed things about myself that held me back from being who I needed to be in many areas of my life.

Who you believe you are is the foundation for everything that you do.

When people go for particular careers or job that has been advertised, there's plenty of research to show that people will determine already whether or not they feel worthy, capable, qualified, or able to do the job, and these things determine whether or not they go for it.

This kind of mindset is just one example of a limiting process that you're putting yourself through.

So, what we’re going to do today is start a process of shifting that. I am going to help you unlearn those false and negative beliefs that are limiting you.

We're going to relearn some new ones, and then we're going to repeat them.

We're going to practice and nurture those.

We're going to nurse and rehearse them just like what you did with your old beliefs, and then they will become your new normal.

When they become your new normal, your behaviour will change as well.

Let me explain the process of how you're going to do this.

There are four things that you need to do to get this new brain wiring and these new beliefs.

The first thing is to recognise. You need to identify, recognise and acknowledge the beliefs that you've currently got — the ones that are not serving you and the ones that are based on the fear of not belonging, the fear of not being enough or the fear of not being loved.

Those false and limiting beliefs that you've placed on yourself based on what you've heard and what you've taken in as being true.

So recognising them is the first step.

To do that, you may need some help. You may need a coach or someone who can help you to go through that process so that when that mini-me (that small voice) pops up and says, “No.

That's not a limiting belief. We need to believe that so we can thrive and survive," you can identify it and call it out for what it really is.

The second part of the process is to reject it.

Recognition is not enough.

Calling it out is not enough.

To be able to move forward, you need to reject that belief as being true. You also need to acknowledge that it is no longer serving you because the inner dialogue that you have continually run has been set up by you to believe that that belief is giving you what you need, so rejecting it and saying, “No. I will no longer believe that” or “That’s not true. Facts are not in evidence.”

Until you do that, you're not able to move forward.

Now that you’ve recognised and rejected it, the third thing you need to do is to replace the belief. You need to replace it with something that's going to give you what you want in an empowering way.

To do that, you take the negative belief and flip it into the positive.

For example, when I was young, I developed a belief that I was not lovable. Therefore, everything that I did came out of that belief. But when I recognised that it was not true and it wasn't serving me, I rejected it and said: “No, that's not true”, and I looked for the evidence of what was true. By flipping that to the part of my story about my mum, I recognised that I was so lovable that my mum was willing to do what she did.

So reframing your beliefs into the positive will help you to have something that you can replace that old negative one with.

The fourth thing you need to do is to repeat the new belief.

Just like what you did with your old belief, you need to nurse, rehearse, believe and challenge this new belief with your inner dialogue because that’s going to happen. You also need to get clear about that new belief and say: “No. This is a new belief”, and repeat that new belief, whether that be with positive affirmations or by stamping your old beliefs when they come out and go: “No, this is the truth.”

Over a period of time of repeating, that will become an ingrained belief. Initially, you may not believe it. You may be tricking your brain into believing it by that repetition. However, when you do that, there will come the point where it becomes your truth, and that's when it becomes really powerful.

So you’ve recognised, rejected, replaced, and now you’ve repeated it. When you do those things, you will be able to rewire your brain.

As you go moving forward, those new beliefs will be the ones that will lead you. They'll be the ones that determine your decision-making process, and they will be the foundation of who you believe you are —your identity.

Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we continue this conversation around building up your identity so that you can be who you need to be in every area of your life, bringing your personal best and not holding back because the opinion that you have of yourself doesn't match up with the truth.

I'll see you then.