The Power of Coaching

SUMMARY

Are you someone that people always come to for advice? Do you find yourself helping people work out their strengths and help them to work on the areas they want to improve, or are you a little bit confused about this thing called coaching and mentoring?

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, emotional intelligence speaker and trainer of the year and master coach trainer. And today, I want to continue our conversation by helping you understand the power of coaching.

In this episode, I want to unpack five key principles to understand what coaching is.

1. Wear different hats.
2. Master the fundamentals.
3. Establish a relationship.
4. Frame the conversation.
5. Celebrate the milestones.

So there, you have five principles that I want to unpack this month. And we're going to go a little bit deeper because I want you to understand the power of coaching.

Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week when we continue this conversation around coaching and mentoring others, where I unpack the fundamental coaching skills.

I'll see you then.

TRANSCRIPT

Are you someone that people always come to for advice? Do you find yourself helping people work out their strengths and help them to work on the areas they want to improve, or are you a little bit confused about this thing called coaching and mentoring?

Well, stick with me because I want to start a conversation around the competency of coaching and mentoring others in this week's episode. This is a key area in relationship management.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, emotional intelligence speaker and trainer of the year and master coach trainer. And today, I want to continue our conversation by helping you understand the power of coaching.

You may or may not know what coaching is. You may have an idea of what you think it is, and you may have been exposed to it in some way.

So as we start this conversation off for this month, I want to make sure that you first set a foundation, a benchmark of understanding around what coaching is and what it isn't.

You've heard the term thrown around a lot. And in fact, there are so many coaches out there: they are coaches who work internally in an organisation or coaches who run their practice, or people who, in their job role, do some coaching. So coaching is a word that's used a lot. Unfortunately, there's a misunderstanding based on differences in how people use the term.

What I want to do is get the point of agreement here. I'm not looking to say: "This is it" I'm looking to say: "This is how I come across, and I think of it." You'll understand where I'm coming from as I take you through this month.

By the way, coaching is something that you do. However, it's not who you are.

So even the term “coach” can be misunderstood sometimes.

it's not who you are.

So you take the two terms, coaching on the one hand and mentoring on the other. Sometimes people will use one or both of those.

So for me, a mentor tells you things and shows you how to do things. In comparison, a coach takes you on a journey of self-discovery and then helps you come up with answers to what you want to do moving forward.

So if you look at it in that framework, it'll help you have a benchmark to understand as you go through. And indeed, a coach asks a lot of questions, and a mentor tells you many things. But what I want to do is show you how to use coaching and mentoring together so that we get a holistic approach to helping people grow.

As you go through the conversation this month, I want to unpack five key principles first to understand what coaching is. Then, as we move on next week, we'll unpack each of these to go deeper.

Having an understanding of those principles will help you to be able to utilise the power of coaching. Let's go.

1. Wear different hats.

I've already talked about coaching and mentoring, and I've talked about how these terms are being used. My goal is to be able to make them work together.

So what I'm talking about with wearing different hats is that when you go in wearing one hat, you're going into a situation, and you're going to coach someone -- that's your intent. What I find is that the results are less than they could be.

So coaching is about asking questions and drawing out what you need to be aware of so that they can then perhaps help you move through it, and sometimes that requires some mentoring.

So to me, I look at the work that I do with executives worldwide - I coach and mentor. And I don't go in with one or another hat on; I take them both.

Sometimes, I can help them uncover things, and then I can add more value based on their own experience. And for me, and we'll go into this more in future weeks, it's all about having a coaching conversation where there's permission to do that. So I might say, "Hey, I have been through a similar situation in my career. Can I help you to understand what I did to overcome that?" So, in that, I'm wearing two hats.

both.

Whenever I go into a training room, if I'm developing a team, I get their permission at the start to wear two hats. As a trainer, I give them information and teach them what they need to know. And then, I reserve the right to put on my coach's hat that when some mindsets and behaviours are popping up in the room by individually or by the whole group, I can help them overcome that using the skills of a coach.

So, I'm trying to get across to you here to wear different hats. Do not get too wrapped up in what you call yourself. Instead, make sure you understand that there's a time for both.

2. Master the fundamentals.

Next week, you will have a look at the fundamentals of coaching. There are some specific skills that you need to master, so whether you're coaching or mentoring, you will be able to give the best to the person you're working with.

Those key skills are the ones you want to make sure that you invest the most energy into. And you do it in a way that says, "I'm no master yet, so I'll keep learning incrementally as I go along."

Like any other social and emotional intelligence skill, it's about being aware of where you are and then incrementally moving forward and bolstering that competency.

So, as you look at these fundamentals, you can do and ask yourself the following: "What can I do differently next time? What did I do well here? What did I learn?" And master that particular skill over some time.

There is just a handful of them, and they are the most powerful for you to bring transformation to anyone you're working with.

3. Establish a relationship.

Coaching is not an event; it's a relationship.

It's a relationship between two people or between a coach and a group that goes on a journey together. It's a relationship that needs trust, mutual understanding, respect, support, and accountability. It's a relationship where you are walking alongside somebody and helping them go from where they are now to where they want to go.

So, it's vitally important that right upfront, before you get into the "do", you both work out who you both need to "be". And you establish a relationship that says: "It's okay to communicate this way, it's okay to have some disagreement and some conflict.” And to make sure you know exactly what you're going to do, should that arise.

One of the things I love to do in a relationship as I'm developing with someone I'm working with is making sure that they understand and can trust me.

Make sure that they understand that it's a judgment-free zone – where you are not there to judge them, but you are there to help them, and understand that what they're talking to you about is confidential between you.

And by establishing that bond of trust, you’ve got a strong relationship where they can lean on you and where they can be confident that you are there to serve and support them.

So even though coaching is not being their friend, it's just like having a relationship with another person. It's built on trust, respect, empathy, and making a conscious effort to understand each other.

4. Frame the conversation.

Coaching is a conversation between a coach and a coachee.

And there are many conversations. Down the track this month, I will take you through a framework to be able to do that. However, today, I want you to understand that that's what it is. It's a series of conversations where things are uncovered, where there is awareness built, where there's understanding developed, where there's questioning and response, where there's feedback.

So, making sure that you understand that this is all about going on a journey together, you will get many different results.

So going on that journey and having a framework around the conversations that we have differentiates between just having that relationship and a friendship to a process that helps take someone from where they are to where they want to go.

Frameworks are amazing. I love frameworks because it tells me and gives me a guideline of what I could do next when I want to take someone to where they want to go.

So making sure that a framework is used in our conversations is vitally important as a coach.

5. Celebrate the milestones.

Coaching is all about incremental change.

Coaching adds to training. While training gives you what you need to do, coaching gives you an environment of support and accountability so that you can slowly, step by step, change the conditioning of your brain, change your habits, change what you think and get a different result.

Along the way on your journey, there will be ups and downs. There will be times when you win, and there are times when you're going to learn. However, they are all milestones.

Because it's all about an incremental journey, what you want to do is concentrate on progress. There's a gap when you coach someone who wants to go from here to here. And a lot of times, unless you celebrate the small wins, they may feel that they do not see enough change. They're not seeing enough growth.

If I'm working in an organisation, people need to understand that it will not change overnight. The problems that they have had developed over several years, so it will make a change over a longer time.

When you celebrate progress, not perfection, what you do is you allow the pleasure circuits in your brain to go, "Hey, that was good. Let's do that again." And what that will do is take normal coaching to culture change because people will see themselves differently. People will understand that they can and that they are good enough.

And no matter what the coaching is about, it's all about a person. It's all about the foundations of understanding and the beliefs and values of a person or group.

So, helping them to celebrate is a big part of the coaching that I do. Because when someone gets that tick of evidence that says, "Hey, you achieve something," that can be all that's sometimes needed to elevate them to a new level of where they want to go.

So there, you have five principles that I want to unpack this month. And we're going to go a little bit deeper because I want you to understand the power of coaching.

So remember, there's coaching, there's mentoring. It's not about working out which one; it's how you combine those. And I'm going to unpack that as we go through this month.

I love the opportunity to work with other human beings, coach them, and help them change their lives in every area. I invite you if you're listening or watching this month and you're going, "Hey, that's something that I'd like to do. I'd like to start coaching more in my organisation." or "In my situation, in my practice, I'd like to step out and become a professional coach", then reach out; I'd love to help you. Because the world needs more coaches right now -- we need coaches who understand these fundamental principles.

Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week when we continue this conversation around coaching and mentoring others, where I unpack the fundamental coaching skills.

I'll see you then.