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What am I really afraid of?

Fear is a system of inner thoughts that can affect both your mental and physical processes. It can prevent you from taking necessary action, or can steer you off track into further frustration.

Fear “objects” are the things that sow the seeds of fear and usually fall into the following three categories:

Fear of People – the boss, your spouse, your neighbour, strangers.

Fear of Things – snakes, spiders, mice, sharks, bats, dogs.

Fear of Situations – heights, darkness, divorce, sickness, death, public speaking, bankruptcy.

You can be afraid of what you see right in front of you, or you can worry about some event or situation that may or may not happen in the future. Fear is often coupled with anxiety, a self-generated state of apprehension that has a vague object as it’s source, or no object at all. The object is not normally the real fear, it is something deeper that causes us to fear that object in the first place. An example of that for me came from nearly drowning a few years ago. From that experience I developed a fear of the ocean, holding me back from going to the beach. Was I afraid of the ocean or afraid of drowning? Was drowning the issue or death itself? Was it death or leaving my wife and kids alone? Why do I feel they could not live without me? There are enough issues there to feed a university student with the raw material for a thesis, however for our purpose today, we can use my example to chunk down into your fears and cut them off at the source. Only this will allow your overcoming to be long term.

OK, enough of the theory; are you ready to take some action?

Put your fears under the microscope. Know what you are really afraid of and why. Develop an acute awareness of your fear state. Figure out what objects make you nervous and apprehensive. Think beyond your feelings and emotions, be able to describe them in detail along with the consequences of being afraid.

Get yourself comfortable in a safe place, journal and pen at the ready, then close your eyes and focus your mind, non-judgmentally, on people, things and situations that have bothered you over the last few weeks or are bothering you right this minute. Picture them as they really are, not as you are afraid they might be or you would like them to be. No thoughts of what is good or bad, just what is!

Use your journal to take inventory of everything you feel, hear and see that affects your fears.

How much of what you have written is what you know to be true and how much is what you think could be true?

What are the triggers of your fear?

What are you really afraid of?

Write out a list of your top 3 fears and, using a new page for each, begin to list some practical moves you can make to get them under control.

I would love you to use your courage to post a reply below, letting me know what you found out and how it has empowered you. You all have what it takes to uncover these nasty little fears for what they truly are. Being a slave to fear is not what you were created for. Fear is designed to be an amber light on the road to your dreams and goals, not a red one!

Have an outstanding week taking massive action against your fears. You deserve it!


Grant Herbert
The People Builder

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